What we use your data for
Tbh we don’t care about who you are whatsoever unless you’re paying us money, in which case we’ll have a contract anyway. Just to be clear, our products don’t currently collect any information, and neither does our website, other the usual web analytics. The only data we have on you is data you gave us yourself in conventional ways, or data in the public domain.
Now. Regarding any data we have on you, we don’t sell nor share your data, personal or otherwise. Your consent is irrelevant, we just don’t do it. This is because we (i) don’t need to, (ii) don’t make money from ads, (iii) even if we wanted to make money from ads how many people do you think visit this website anyway, and (iv) because we are not scumbags. Finally, nobody would pay anything for your data. You are not that special.
Any data you do give us, or that our products may collect from time to time, is only to be used internally for the purposes of providing or improving our services, and is anonymised where possible. As you can imagine, our system admins can access your data if they need to, otherwise they can’t fix your stuff when it breaks. Also, even though we go out of our way to make sure we can’t identify you, since you use your email address to log-in, if you for instance register as [email protected], don’t be surprised if we can infer that your name is Elon Musk and that you work for Tesla. There’s only so much we can do.
How we protect your data
We try our best to keep your data safe, and use modern encryption protocols and all that jazz to do so. However, keep in mind that once a computer is connected to the internet, data is never 100% safe, no matter what people might tell you. If $multi-billion corporations can get hacked, so can we. If that ever happens, we will notify you as soon as possible, and take steps to fix the vulnerability.
In order to manage your personal information, some of it might be stored in reputable third-party cloud services that we pay for, such as Google Drive, MailChimp, AWS, and so on. Normal stuff. We use those because we develop specialised products and are not re-inventing the entire internet. We make no guarantees regarding the data protection & privacy provided by those services, other than those their providers give us.
We vet the various WordPress plugins we use for our website and only use reputable ones, but we can’t read every line of code for everything, especially since plugins kinda have to update themselves automatically or the website breaks. If you ever spot that something is collecting information it’s not supposed to, let us know.
IP and geolocation
We may use your IP address and other similar information for anonymised usage analytics that we use internally, and in order to certify that you are located in a country where it is legal to use our services (yes, that’s a thing and a pretty important one, check our End-User Licence Agreement).
Children & parents
Just to be clear, a “child” is anyone under the age of 18. Yes we know, you don’t want to be treated like a child, but in the eyes of the law you are one, so there you have it.
Other than some saucy language, this website is family and pet friendly, however children will not be allowed to create user accounts on this website, if we ever have user accounts. It’s not because you’ve been naughty. On the contrary, we applaud your interest in MINLP from such a young age. It’s because it’s a legal headache for us to process children’s personal information, so please don’t do that. If you are old enough to use a computer you should know this. If you are a child and you are reading this, first ask your parents what to do, come back with one of them, and have them read this page before you give us any personal information (spoiler alert: you shouldn’t). Take your time, this website isn’t going anywhere. Go. Now.
If, as a parent or guardian, you discover that your child has provided us with personal information, we will wipe that data upon your request and ban your child’s email address until they come of age so that they learn their lesson.
Pets on the other hand might be allowed to create user accounts on a case by case basis, assuming they’ve come of age.
Debacles with The Man
Finally, even though it’s obvious, we’ll tell you anyway: if we are ever required by law to disclose your data to the proper authorities, we will do so. We will not go on a crusade against The Man on your behalf. We don’t have that kind of money. If we did, this policy would look very different.
We can, and will, update this policy from time to time, mostly because you people keep finding loopholes.